Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Rajinikanth - all set to strike again

If you're looking for some original thought or my opinion, then this is not your stop.

A few days before the big Rajinikanth release scheduled, there's a spate of mail and here's someone who'd actually sent me close a 100 one-liners about the legendary hero!

Without further ado, here goes...

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.


42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.

90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Happy All Fool's Day folks! II

I did not expect to see a second posting on the same day, nor would have most of you. If you think its normal, then you don't know me! :)

You never know who's kidding today and who's not!

Here's what I found on Apple's site:

Small talk.

The new iPod shuffle. The first music player that talks to you.

So little. And yet so much.

The new iPod shuffle is jaw-droppingly small. It’s half the size of the previous generation. Yet there’s room for so much more. With 4GB of storage, it now holds up to 1,000 songs,1 and lets you enjoy multiple playlists, too. Learn more

It speaks for itself.

Introducing VoiceOver,2 the feature that gives iPod shuffle a voice. With the press of a button, it tells you what song is playing and who’s performing it. It can even tell you the names of your playlists, giving you a new way to navigate your music. Learn more

iPod shuffle

4GB for $79

iPod shuffles.
This will be the last of me finding or at least posting potential all fool's day tricks! :)

Happy All Fool's Day folks!

Hello All,

There has been a classic Google googly coming out at us all over the past few years on this day, this year not being much different I hope.

This morning when I opened up what millions other on this planet do too, I find this interesting link, that is perhaps laid there to be barely noticeable kinds:

Introducing CADIE: a singular upgrade to your online life. 

Right under the search box of http://www.google.com/ - am not sure if other country specific ones carry it as well...

Give it a go, but I would strongly advise people from going to the blogger pages and stay only on the google ones. The blogger one did try to run some ActiveX content, but its better you don't... There has been a lot of malicious attacks planned out for this day, so look out for all suspicious links, attachments and content.

Stay Safe! :)

P.S.: I see a new button on my GMail interface that lets me type in Hindi, Kannada, Telugu, Tamil and I think Malayalam!!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Been away for close to a year!! :O

Ok, I jus saw when I was posting a comment on Harsh's new blog this morning, actually jus now, that its almost a year since I'd last posted, although there have been way more compelling reasons to do so than ever. Have I grown all the lazier? (yea, like its even possible!) Is it cos I don't have a comp and net connectivity (doesn't appear so, not from the unabated mail flow with only a fraction from my mobile {what, can't I take a minute here to gloat about my phone's GPRS capapbilities and me actually using it to the hilt, well.. almost :D}) And I can think of a zillion other excuses but am thinking, kinda on the lines of a New Years' resolve, that I would post at least a few lines once every few weeks at the very least. So, here's a quick round of what's been up over the past year. I'll try not to make it too long and if I come up with a detailed post on any, will link it up here.

  1. Hmm... Well, the first big thing was I'd gotten off to actually making some investments as well. Me and Hema (always need someone to push me to get things done, especially ones that're gonna be benefitting (read boring with tons of paperwork, uninteresting people and other related paraphernalia) me in the long run).
  2. Perhaps, I'd not mentioned it, but Sangeetha's blog, led me to her friend Sidin's and its a must stop for everyone - believe me on this one. The guy is hilarious and writes both in your face and so subtle, you gotta go back a coupla times before u realise wat it's about :)
  3. Job shift and consequently moved bag & baggage from Hyd to B'lore; MAQ to McAfee. Loads of things deinitely happened during this time -> I travelled from Hyd's new airport to B'lore's, hated B'lore from the moment I landed, fell in love - completely head over heels with Indiranagar, had some really great food, met new folks, the new workplace, work, coffee machines, the works, and then moved in with Anil... Life hasn't quite been the same for him since!
  4. Ok, I started this on the 9th and went on to like #9, ok kidding, maybe 6-7 atleast and then something snapped - the autosave stopped working properly and then the manual didn't either... :(  Even worse was, I didn't do a ^A+^C+^V+^S (Save the work myself manually) before I closed the window, and chrome, shuts down with no warning when there are multiple tabs open (I miss Firefox)!
  5. The frequent shuttling between Hyderabad and Bangalore and the nasty state National Highways can get and throw in a rickety bus in the monsoons and what do you have - a 16 hour-back-breaking ride back home for rakhi...
  6. My travails without my own wheels.. my hunt for the ideal ones and how I landed my Silver Surfer :D
  7. Disastrous movies at ridiculous prices in not so good multiplexes...
I think I'll pause here and push this out before I lose out again...

James Bond Will Return

Monday, May 19, 2008

Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi

Its been sometime and the last time I had posted too has been a forward. Although I have been meaning to come back and post here, just hasn't been happening.
Well, here is yet another, in spite of myself another forward.

A li'l background though here. This one's a gem of one and keeps reminding me of how my life has been and I stick close to it too. I keep fishing this out of my inbox every once in a while for a few smiles of how birds of the same feather...

I think this will be a faster ready-reckoner for me now, and to all those who missed or keep taking a look at it every now and then, this should be helpful.

Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi
  1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number 56-678/4A/B-22),while you actually live in the second house beside zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.
  2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.
  3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".
  4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions,whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.
  5. You come across tailors sporting the board:
    Immidiot delivery in two days onli.
  6. You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently.
  7. You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican, Italian and Lebanese cuisines.
  8. You order for a tea just after having had Caramel custard.
  9. You have at least one Srinivas,Prasad, Raju or Venkatesh within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance with these names.
  10. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.
  11. Every time somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain miya ?'
  12. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.
  13. You call 11 AM as subah subah.
  14. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'
  15. And it doesn't matter where in the "Gulf/middle east" you are leaving you always tell you are going to "Dubai". (I know of one family who still keep telling everyone their son is in "uno! Dubai mein hai" but he is physically in Yemen for the past 5 years.
  16. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.
  17. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'
  18. If you do not eat rice at least once a day you will die.(Nothing other than Rice is considered as a meal)
  19. If you feel offended by someone looking at you (Kaiku ghoor raa miya ?)
  20. If you think you are a born shayer and use some typical filmi batein in stylish urdu and crack some romantic jokes.
  21. While someone does this, you say to yourself 'chubbe saale ,mooh dekh aaine mein, tere ku kaun pat thi, pataaney waala tho main hi hoon'
  22. If you can say the typical "Light le le baap" and be cool without analyzing what the situation is.
  23. If you feel its legal and your Nizami birth right to show yourhand and stop the traffic (better than any traffic police) while you cross the road whenever and wherever you like.
  24. If you can hang out in a Irani cafe the whole day after ordering one cup tea and a empty for yourself and your dear friend and chat like thats the last day with each other.
  25. If you eat Paradise Biryani or bawarchi Biryani atleast once in a week.
  26. If you go to the Petrol Bunk and say "Panch Point Single Oil maroo yaaro" and hand over 15 bucks.
  27. If you can relate the words 'Nakko', 'Hou' 'Kaiku' ,'hallu' and make these the integral part of your vocabulary.
  28. If you tell your friend that you will 'just come back' ("abbhi aathu mein") and your friend knows that either you will take a couple of hours or not come back at all.
  29. You end up watching every movie you come across, and end up saying oh! that was good , but it could be better if it was made that way.
Well, I couldn't agree more! :)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Murphy's law

Murphy's Universal Law....(all other laws are derivations/variations/extensio
ns from/of this law): If anything can go wrong, it will.

Extended Murphy's Law: If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence.

Grossman's Misquote of H. L. Mencken: Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.

Imbesi's Law of the Conservation of Filth: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty.

Maryann's Law: You can always find what you are not looking for.

Cafeteria Law: The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you.

Etorre's Observation: The other line moves faster.

O'Brein's Variation on Etorre's Observation: If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

Kenton's Corollary: Switching back screws up both lines and makes everybody angry.

Hutchison's Law: If a situation requires undivided attention, it will occur simultaneously with a compelling distraction.

Jones' Law of Zoos and Museums: The most interesting specimen will not be labeled.

Wallace Wood's Rule of Drawing:
1)Never draw what you can copy.
2)Never copy what you can trace.
3)Never trace what you can cut out and paste.

Roger's Law: As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airliner encounters turbulence.

Davis' Explanation of Roger's Law: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Courtesy: A forward apparent from Sannidhi :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

TATA Nano in Technicolour

Well, after all the waiting, the show and the hoopla, its now time for the goofs and the jokes to start floating around. Today, when I was going over the homepage of wikipedia, I saw it listed in the recent events and went in to check out what wikipedia had to say about it.

Well, the first thing to have caught my attention made me think, should the Nano be out at all... Here' why:

And after this, the decision wasn't all that wavery...

I really don't know what gets people to go for this kind of "variety".
In fact, when I had been to buy my second headset for my phone, the guy showed me ones with silver coloured earpieces. I told him, that I wanted ones in black colour, like the ones I already had. The guy had just this to say - "Asian paints hai saab, jo bole woh colour mil jaata..."

I did not dare ask him what else was available or what he thought of my choice...

Monday, December 10, 2007

Dessert on a Monday

Another pic intensive post, but in my defence, this one truly stands for the adage - "A picture invokes a thousand drools" :D

Mondays are not usually that depressing if you happen to run into one of these, and although the occasion did not really call for any extravaganza, the mere site itself was occasion enough.

This new place that opened up next to the Subway, pulled me in as if by magic... [I almost felt the thrill the Bollywood folks do on meeting their brothers lost in the Kumbh ke Mele...]

These guys actually have an amazing philosophy about their ice creams or should I be saying gelato, as is entailed in their flyer...

Now, coming down to the other side of it was a delectable spread on the paper itself; Mondays so, as is the norm with me and ice cream I did the supreme honours of picking a mix of Belgian Dark Chocolate and some alcohol based one of about half a kilo and got started... Time stopped...

The spread I have captured is of today's menu and changes apparently on a daily basis

Now, if you're keyboard is all wet, you know there is no way I could've escaped this temptaion...

Happy Sinning... :D

P.S.: This place has an opening in Necklace and the place I'd been to was next to the Subway near Kondapur. Special Mention here of Nash, who so, unwillingly paid for all the expenses towards Pet Pooja this afternoon :)